On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it’s *just* a suggestion!)
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure???)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn’t that save time?)
On Boot’s Children’s cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope so!)
On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space – – or underground)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now, …. I’m curious.)
On Sainsbury’s peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (No! ….. Really?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (Thanks for all your help.)
On a child’s Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That’s right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
