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"Listen To Your Auntie"

November 2011Monthly Archives

Stupid Label Instructions

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: 

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that’s the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it’s *just* a suggestion!)

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure???)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn’t that save time?)

On Boot’s Children’s cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope so!)

On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space – - or underground)

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now, …. I’m curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (No! ….. Really?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (Thanks for all your help.)

On a child’s Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That’s right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)

Fox News… Thank God They’ve Only Been Around For 20 Years.

It’s Too Bad That By The Time You Get Your Mind Straight… You’re Too Old To Do Much With It.

G.O.P. Logic – Unexplainable Assholery.

If There Are Only 2% Idiots In The Potential Electorate… Why Are They All In Congress?

Let’s Get Some PERSPECTIVE On This Terrorist Situation Kiddies.

Five and a half million dead versus Three Thousand dead… Make any sense to you?

Congressional Logic.

Aunty says – “It’s time to clean house… The House, that is.”

Let’s start with any and all members who’ve signed a “pledge” that limits their options for compromise.

This Is How Employers View Workers Over 50 Who Have Been Unemployed For A Year Or Longer.

 

“And the knuckleheads in Congress want to raise the retirement age too.” – Auntie

Why You Need To Master Math For College.

“And this is after the folks go into hock up to their ears.” – Auntie

The One Percenters Vs. Vampires…